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my prayer

We’ve moved and I never write anymore

Everyday is a struggle for sister so tossed and twisted

Dad brought mum roses today and she sat and cried on the couch

brothers writes worries to friends from a far,

who will he be in this new school of fish

Does he fear the sharks?

I do for him

In church, the people pass funny glances at our family so new and different

a tall thin boy, a flapping girl and her older pair with a scowl and tousled hair

A mum and dad so worn from an 8 month storm that deep shadows are  harsh under eyes of love

Puppy waits in the big cold home with paint on her paws, from the wall we took out.

we try to mold into this big house, i shuffle my furniture around and fall in tears on the kitchen floor one morning

asking God to take away fear

to help me stop counting

counting days, counting seconds, counting meals, counting people

for what?

I need to create more, I need to be better, I need to practice my music, I need to write every day

I need to be this present moment

There are toys on this floor and denim threads from a love quilt scattered around mum

Lord help us make it

be with brothers lonely, living afar

help me mold into you that you fulfill my every need

help me to know if I should travel afar to home-school missionary children

or do you have life for me here

Send this home peace and warmth

and order that we can hold amongst the chaos

we will all grab on, and bare our white knuckles

so that we can make it through

help us make it through

 

in the hush of the moon

Linking with Emily today


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9 responses

  1. I felt your words in this post.
    Thanks so much for your kind encouragement at my place.
    Elizabeth

    January 21, 2011 at 3:50 am

  2. elk

    i am happy to visit here .. your words flow down the page amid change and intense feelings. I am thinking of your family ..moving is so hard

    January 21, 2011 at 3:54 am

  3. Jodi

    I’ll remember you and your family in my prayers. Promise.

    January 21, 2011 at 5:54 am

  4. i’m praying for you and your family! *hugs*

    January 21, 2011 at 7:45 pm

  5. Your words flow — releasing emotions/thoughts/prayers with a bit of a rythem. You captured my attention at the beginning; that’s necessary if the post is long. 🙂
    I’m intrigued by all the undercurrents–all the unanswered questions. I’m an intercessor and will your family up.
    I’m a high school teacher and I recommend that your brother doesn’t try too hard, doesn’t come across cocky or timid. Tell him to listen to that voice inside him and he will know of whom to ask questions and talk with.

    January 22, 2011 at 2:10 am

  6. I need to create more, I need to be better, I need to practice my music, I need to write every day I need to be this present moment

    oh sweet emmalynn….

    i received your letter this week, and i read it twice. i loved the tea and the seeds and i love you. there is so much beauty, so much heart, in you. i’m praying God protects as you love those around you. what a moving prayer this is. i was SO glad to see you’d linked. i’ve really missed your writing. remember: it’s not about us doing anything. just rest. he will create through you, he will help you be better, he will inspire you to make music… you just focus on being. xoxo

    January 22, 2011 at 3:39 am

  7. Thank you for giving me this line to be my prayer today-

    help me mold into you that you fulfill my every need

    I have been feeling “needy” today and battle weary. Thank you so much for this needed perspective.

    I’m praying He will comfort and carry and direct you today.

    January 22, 2011 at 7:25 pm

  8. “I need to be this present moment”…truly emmalyn just be listening to Him in this moment…echoing emily’s words…it’s never about “doing” for GOD…but always about letting Him do through you…He loves you so much emmalyn…hold onto that

    January 22, 2011 at 7:51 pm

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