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jingle and kringle

We sang carols in a church pew, our words mixing with new strange voices.


Joy and Good Tidings

Rising up to the heavens.

Puppy danced at the talent show later that eve. Barking and hopping while mum and dad told a story with puppets.

we smiled and giggled, giddy with excitement.

A cake was shared to celebrate the birth of both earth father and heaven father.

Both strong yet humble.

I thought of Dad’s tears over sickly puppy, his crushed expression as they almost took her away.

Puppy welcomed the morning with us.

Sister whispered sweetly at my doorframe.

“Wake up, its Christmas time”

She ran down the hall in tears hands flapping out of control,


the excitement winning her emotions

I chased her and we tackled her with a hug, mum and I

And then the three girls went downstairs.


TEAR and RIP with the paper, Gasps of excitement and squeals with each gift.

we shared smiles and fruit salad sweet on our lips around a dining room table

I think back to last year, a darker time in my heart

I did not share fruit salad, each gift was lain with guilt as I felt undeserving and ashamed

I did not gasp or squeal or snap photos of siblings as they enjoyed each present.


When God shone through the angel atop our tree, I begged it for help.

On knobby knees in hopeless state.

I remember

my sunken faced, thin and pointy

my string like ankles in sockmonkey slippers








my choppy haircut, wrapped up in a headband.

This year I smile at handmade gifts and fresh brewed coffee,

the Lord smiles at our family weak from our battles

but linked tightly in love

This was what we wanted most for Christmas, to be here, to be together.

Merry Christmas

You are all so dearly loved.


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