we used to sit up in that tree and tell our secrets and eat the leaves. it was a secret. We were something special. 3
then they pushed me out of the tree and now they spit their leaves on my face.
I should’ve never climbed in that tree with them
check out my artwork on
(banner is the wallpaper era)
The sun is mixing colors in the sky as it drop down below the horizon. Glass of wine in hand and heart at my fingertips I settle at the keyboard to spill my thoughts. I have handed over my worries and am back to the point of bliss happiness, just so much satisfaction with what I have been given. I should enjoy this this time ,though a small bit of it stills contains fear. fear that everything could be stripped from my skin in seconds
then in an instant, I am in front of my canvas, paintbrush in hand. I am mixing colors but my color chart is nowhere to be seen. I just have to trust That the right colors will come. I must paint the sunrise correctly, but does he?
or does he just stretch his hand along the sky with complete faith and trust that we will love what he displays? Maybe he doesn’t care what we think, because he knows that in his own mind it is beautiful.
back to pure bliss, fear removed
There was a daisy in my yard
I was ever so tempted to pick it and save it away
store it in my window with my collection of sparkly gems that glow in the early sun
but it belonged to the backyard.
fenced in to make it sacred
a safe place that hosted days of memories.
we swam in that yard
feeling weightless in the fridged waters
this spring I grew beauty out of earth
countless days in the hot sun
soil beneath my nails
Picking weeds and pruning
dancing with sister in the rain
oh so magical
then campfires and smores
bannock bread and pretend fairies
we climbed that tree
in a game it was our home
it makes me wonder about the people who will come to our yard in the future
will they cherish the fruits of the garden?
will they swim and laugh and play?
will they climb the tree that’s not really ours,
and run out to dance and spin when the rain pours down?
today I went to pick that daisy
press it and save it
a memory, a keepsake
but it was gone
and with it my worries
everything will work out
the not so perfect yard ended up being just what we needed
one second I’ll be facing one way
I like one side the best
but I can never hold my feet there
I dance and twirl all out of control
I feel strong on the one side
when I turn to face the other way i feel myself weak and pulled
pulled by greater forces.
into a place where no one trusts me
a place where they want to turn me on my head and dump out all my secrets.
Where whatever I don’t like, they want to force upon me
I will not paint or dance or be around loved ones
I’ll be alone, in cold room, that a stranger tried to prepare for me.
I’ll be locked in that place until I can fake a smile.
and say what needs to be said
They want to break me
like a stubborn horse
quick face the other way
Once I get my legs strong I can walk this way too
it may just take more time, but I promise you this.
it won’t be on my own
but I will be the driving force
I chose to take God’s hand and he’s here helping me walk a steady line
no one has to connect our hands.
I am able and willing
I promise you this.
Although I am dizzy i won’t fall down again.
I woke up with sticky eyes and frizzy hair
but he saw a different me
He saw something deeper
he found a beautiful sparkle in my eyes and tiny curls among the mess of frizzy locks.
I learned a number today
and surprisingly it did not pound through my head like an angry tribal drum.
It passed off my shoulder
how is the weather today?
It was because he prepared me, he protected me, like always.
The cloudy are sticky like marshmallows this soft breezy morning, but they don’t stick to me.
I want to wrap your heart in the biggest bandage and hold it there until the pain subsides