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Archive for June, 2010

people in trees

we used to sit up in that tree and tell our secrets and eat the leaves. it was a secret. We were something special. 3

then they pushed me out of the tree and now they spit their leaves on my face.

I should’ve never climbed in that tree with them

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sunsets

The sun is mixing colors in the sky as it drop down below the horizon. Glass of wine in hand and heart at my fingertips I settle at the keyboard to spill my thoughts. I have handed over my worries and am back to the point of bliss happiness, just so much satisfaction with what I have been given. I should enjoy this this time ,though a small bit of it stills contains fear. fear that everything could be stripped from my skin in seconds

then in an instant, I am in front of my canvas, paintbrush in hand. I am mixing colors but my color chart is nowhere to be seen. I just have to trust That the right colors will come. I must paint the sunrise correctly, but does he?

or does he just stretch his hand along the sky with complete faith and trust that we will love what he displays? Maybe he doesn’t care what we think, because he knows that in his own mind it is beautiful.

back to pure bliss, fear removed


there was a daisy in my yard

There was a daisy in my yard

I was ever so tempted to pick it and save it away

store it in my window with my collection of sparkly gems that glow in the early sun

but it belonged to the backyard.

our backyard

fenced in to make it sacred

a safe place that hosted days of memories.

we swam in that yard

pure bliss

feeling weightless in the fridged waters

this spring I grew beauty out of earth

countless days in the hot sun

soil beneath my nails

Picking weeds and pruning

dancing with sister in the rain

oh so magical

then campfires and smores

bannock bread and pretend fairies

we climbed that tree

in a game it was our home

it makes me wonder about the people who will come to our yard in the future

will they cherish the fruits of the garden?

will they swim and laugh and play?

will they climb the tree that’s not really ours,

and run out to dance and spin when the rain pours down?

today I went to pick that daisy

press it and save it

a memory, a keepsake

but it was gone

and with it my worries

everything will work out

the not so perfect yard ended up being just what we needed

didn’t it?


Spinning

sometimes I find myself spinning

one second I’ll be facing one way

the next

the other

I like one side the best

but I can never hold my feet there

I dance and twirl all out of control

I feel strong on the one side

when I turn to face the other way i feel myself weak and pulled

pulled by greater forces.

into a place where no one trusts me

a place where they want to turn me on my head and dump out all my secrets.

Where whatever I don’t like, they want to force upon me

I will not paint or dance or be around loved ones

I’ll be alone, in cold room, that a stranger tried to prepare for me.

I’ll be locked in that place until I can fake a smile.

and say what needs to be said

They want to break me

like a stubborn horse

spin spin

quick face the other way

Once I get my legs strong I can walk this way too

it may just take more time, but I promise you this.

it won’t be on my own

but I will be the driving force

I chose to take God’s hand and he’s here helping me walk a steady line

no one has to connect our hands.

I am able and willing

I promise you this.

Although I am dizzy i won’t fall down again.


marshmallow clouds don’t stick to me

I woke up with sticky eyes and frizzy hair

but he saw a different me

He saw something deeper

he found a beautiful sparkle in my eyes and tiny curls among the mess of frizzy locks.

I learned a number today

and surprisingly it did not pound through my head like an angry tribal drum.

It passed off my shoulder

how is the weather today?

–cloudy

simple conversation

It was because he prepared me, he protected me, like always.

The cloudy are sticky like marshmallows this soft breezy morning, but they don’t stick to me.


heart surgeon

I want to wrap your heart in the biggest bandage and hold it there until the pain subsides