today I woke up feeling scared
not an emotion many sought after
BUT it was an emotion.
We walk side by side in the desert
thistles crunching like cornflakes under foot
yellow buttercups catch my eyes
–I delight in your creation.
How does rhubarb grow without moist soil?
–How majestic are your ways
I look up at your smiling face, and I make a choice.
Yes I want this
more than ever
I choose you
I am a girl just wandering through this world, currently no direct path, however I know that God is with me and he will lead me where he wants me to go.
I like the summer, hibernate in the winter, drink tea and coffee like there’s no tomorrow and discovered this year that I love to paint. I have the most wonderful family, although we are dysfunctional at times, I know we always be there for each other.
I strongly believe that every person you meet places a footprint on your heart, even if it’s just a smile as they walk by.
One day i hope to travel, create, and love.
I woke up this morning, fixed myself breakfast, took my one million supplements and left the buttermilk on the counter so that it would reach room temperature.
I am going to make bread
Here i sit, typing my thoughts and sipping tea.
any unknowing onlooker would be surprised to find that I cried myself to sleep, but if they looked closer they would see my blotchy face and swollen eyes. Mildly recovering after a night buried in my camp quilt.
its no one’s fault.
the bobin ran out of thread.
stubborn people clashed
I felt a strange but familiar pain in my head
and the noises whirled together until I couldn’t understand.
Sometimes I would like to scream: DON’T SEND ME AWAY!
STOP TRYING TO FIX ME!
please just love ME for ME, that would be enough
but I don’t say these things, I hide away here behind my computer screen, put on a loaf of bread and tidy up the kitchen.
the sewing machine is too loud to start.
Church was brimming with playdough and potlucks
but I opted for a can of tuna on my salad and an afternoon of sun and garden quilting
leaning on a rusted railway
watching the cars go by
He thought about jumping an awful lot these days.
But down below, in the soft sand, a terrible feat was waiting…
She lay and kept watch, the hot sun beat down on her black fur, if she played dead he may get brave and take a leap.
she was tired
and sick of being dressed up and physically manipulated.
this was what she had truely been intended for…